Tanya Semeradova 0:00
This show is not for the faint of heart. If you're craving personal growth that goes beyond the surface level, then you're in the right place. Get ready to unlock your mind. Unleash your authenticity, ignite your purpose and passion and fortify your emotional resilience. Say goodbye to drum and distraction and hello to new potential. As a former lawyer and business leader turned certified High Performance Coach, I know what it takes to excel in life. I'm here to push you beyond your comfort zone, challenge your beliefs, and spark a transformation that will revolutionize the way you work, have relationships and your well being. You've already taken the first step by being here. So buckle up, because we're about to go on this life changing journey together. Are you ready? Let's do this.
Hello, and welcome. It's so nice to have you here. Let's talk about influence. What you'll learn about influence today, we'll meet you where you're at, and immediately increase your levels of influence in your very next meeting, conversation pitch presentation. So get ready for some turbo progress, my friend. But first, what does influence mean to you? If you had to describe it? How would you describe influence? Does it leave a feeling inside of you? I asked these questions because it's important to check in on ourselves from time to time because while we may want something with our minds, we might know that we want to be more influential at work that we have to be more influential in life with our kids, our friends, our family, but our bodies can reject being more influential if it doesn't feel right. Because you don't want to feel bad, do you? And whether or not influence feels good or bad to you depends on how you think about influence. Maybe you had a bad experience with someone that you perceived as influential. Maybe it was a horrible boss or a negligent parent. And now, you liked the idea of having more impact in your life. But you reject it at your core because it means being something bad. You don't want to be that bad person. Maybe you trusted someone with power, status, or more wealth than you and they let you down. Or maybe you bought something because you really felt pressured to buy it only to regret it later. Hashtag buyer's remorse, right. Of course, we can associate influence with positive experiences to maybe you had wonderful experiences and really good role models who shaped your life and told you how to make decisions told you how to think about stuff in a really positive way. He felt inspired and motivated to do better to step up to be a better person. They set great standards and you rose to the challenge, like our hot air balloon rising into the air despite the pull of gravity, self doubt or responsibility that would normally weigh you down. Now did you notice a common denominator in both those negative and positive examples of influence other people influence is about other people and how we relate to them. It's about our relationship with others. We can know these others, personally or professionally we can know them quite in depth or through content about them and articles that they post on social. We can be inspired, uninspired, we can be motivated, demotivated, we can be moved unmoved by people and their impact on us. So what kind of influencer? Do you think you are? I O skills good enough to have the impact you need to progress personally and professionally? Do people find it easy to listen to you? Believe in you follow you buy from you stay with you. If you're a leader or a manager, what kind of influence persona Do you think you have? If you run your own business? What kind of influence do you think you have on others to really believe in you and take next steps? Now the answer to this boils down to two things. One under your influence persona, to whether you've mastered the skill of influence. So let's look at both your influence persona helps people to get to know like, and hopefully trust you, it can be built as a reaction to your environment. And, of course, your past experiences, hopefully, from positive role models, but let's face it, we've probably got more of an indication of how not to be from others. So influence persona can be this accident, or it can be carefully constructed based on the best of who you are and who you need to become, to level up and achieve your bigger goals to achieve your company's bigger goals, to achieve your business's bigger goals, to become that 2.0, Next Level version, update me please plug in and play. So if you haven't done this influence persona or personal branding exercise yet, or you haven't checked in on yourself in the last 12 months, it's highly likely that your influence persona has been more of an accident or ad hoc reaction and isn't as relevant as you think it is e IX. So without this clarity and intention about who you are at your best self, you can't be the parent, the friend, the leader, the person of influence that others need you to be to role model to show them. And when we're unsure and unclear, we can become prone to holding back, backing down in meetings really doubting our value, overthinking maybe even compromising on those values, and feeling frustrated, because we're not creating the strong alignment with others that we need to succeed. The call, yes. But that's okay. Because now you know, and listen to episode 16. After this, and I'll talk you through in 17 minutes flat out to create your new influence persona. So the second element that determines how influential you are, is whether you've mastered the skill of influence. I have bad news for people who love a personality quiz as much as I do. Oh Gosh, darn, I love clicking and ticking and seeing what color insight or description that computer spits out to me. But your personality has nothing to do with your ability to influence. That's right. My friend influence is a skill that anyone can learn and master no matter what their personality test said, no matter what color you are, or what number you are, gosh, there's so many of these personality tests and no 50 100 200 a pop. So the most timid of us this is my point, the most timid of us can become the lion or lioness leading the conversation, contributing great value, setting a highest standard. A high standard for others to contribute at this is you now doing things you've never thought possible for you. But you know, secretly hoped would come true for you if you just had a little more oomph. being influential is required for everyone with a mission, a dream, or a desire for change and transformation. And I know that's you now, I must make clear right now that I do the influence persona work with people before I give them the secret science to increasing influence. It's not really secret. If I give them the skills to mastering that influence, because I want to make sure that they use their shiny new level of influence for good that they use their powers for good, because you do become more influential. And I can't do that with you. So all I ask is that your intentions are directed to being in service in service of others. Because if you work, you are in business, and in business means in service, making lives better and easier, whether that's for your clients, your colleagues, your company, or you're working for your kids. So I bet you know a thing or two already about how influence works. I sure hope you do. So listen to the rest of this episode with an open mind, a bit of curiosity. And if something sounds like it's a little too much, that I want you to ask yourself, How can I make this work for me? Because when you use what I'm about to tell you and plug your influence persona right into it, you'll have people raising their eyebrows and feeling this greater sense of Have urgency to take the actions you want them to. There'll be doing a Running Man under the desk. Finally, someone's in charge. I bet you have a question at this point. And Tanya, right? How do we know how influence works?
Well, we know how it works. Because yeah, it's been studied in the biggest study on high performance around the world. It's been observed, tested, and then broken down into simple steps to achieve that, which then again, have been tested, observed and measured. So everything I'm telling you is based on empirical real life results, real people. In fact, I'm part of the High Performance Institute. And in his biggest study in the world, one component of that was interviewing the world's top 5%, of leaders across 11 different industries. Now we did 300 structured one to one interviews with them. So you're in good company here. Here we go. People of influence are always doing these three things, whenever they're engaging with people. They're teaching people how to think challenging them, and role modeling the way. So leaders, charismatic people, inspiring motivating people, influential people, they're always always always doing these three things. Sure, these three things may not have come naturally at first, but they prepared and they practiced before the conversation, before the meeting, before the pitch, before the presentation, they didn't just go in and wing it, they put in the pre work, and now they're influencing with their eyes closed, they've got more progress, they've got more impact, they've got more momentum. They're delegating properly, and actually empowering others, they don't have to micromanage or worry. So they've got more time, I've got more work life balance because of this. I've said a lot of stuff here. So let's recap. You've got to get clear on your influence persona, also known as your personal best values, and your values at your next level. Who do you need to become to get more progress, create alignment, and be more likely to work with people who actually share your values, you will get people to step up, or step aside making space for someone who does share your values and actually wants to be there. Yes, professionally. Wouldn't that be nice? And also personally, then you've got to master the skill of influence, which has three steps, teaching people how to think challenging them, and being a role model. Now, to make this a little easier, I've prepared an influence answer guide to give to you free of charge. And it'll be available at www dot Tanya lesley.com. Forward slash influence guide. I'll drop that link into the show notes. In there, I answer questions like, How do I motivate my team so that they're more effective? And how do I delegate so I don't micromanage? How do I stop overthinking what to say in meetings? Tanya, I'm holding back, how do I become more influential and high impact? How do I deal with distraction and difficult people really, you know, squeaky wheels that always need oiled and taking away from the impact I need to have? How do I overcome self doubt and feeling a bit like an impostor, sometimes? Tonja. So if you're wondering about any of those things, I got you covered. And if there's something else you want to know about influence, of course, let me know, please, I want that. And I'll answer those questions, too. So let's talk about each element of influence, beginning with teaching people how to think so you've got to explain how to achieve the outcome you want. Imagine you're teaching someone to fish to go fishing? What would they need to know, to become a proficient Fisher person? How would you unpack how one goes fishing? What are the tools? Timing techniques? How do you choose the best location? The bait? How do you hook it on? How do you cast How do you reel it in? How do you read the water? Is that even relevant? You need to know everything that you need to catch the right fish. Yes. Now contrast being this clear to leaders, parents, people at work, who just tell people what to do. They give direct instructions only. Maybe they boss people around the controlling they micromanage, they're a little bit domineering. And really it's just uninspiring when you think about going to work and maybe even thinking about getting another job. So while being this way may work in some roles, maybe in the Special Forces gone up people questioning whether to run or not. And the point here is it doesn't work at work for our work, it doesn't really work and or if it is it won't work very long. Because guess what, people leave organizations that don't allow them to fully understand how things work, and see how they can spread their own wings, within the confines of the company's cage to Prague really progress. In fact, progress is slower, people make mistakes more because they don't know how their job function contributes to the greater organization. They're unable to be innovative, or create efficiency to save the business time and money because they can't see the wood from the trees. They've got blinkers on, and my goodness, a short leash. Imagine having that in a job description. Wow. Thank goodness, oh, probation time and cooling off periods. Am I right? employees and customers, they're testing out the company as much as the company is testing them out. So you've got to teach people how to think and this can take 30 seconds, or 30 minutes, depending on the situation, of course, and how good you get at doing this. So after you've taught people how to think you've got to challenge them, you've got to set the standard or high expectation that is not only clear, but compels people to take urgent action, as I say, compel. Christ compels you. So the challenge is your way of achieving that. You can challenge people directly, you can be short and sharp saying, No, I want this done by 5pm. Or, you know, there's a 500,000 gap to goal. And you've got to close that gap by the end of the quarter. So while that direct way of challenging people can and does work, there's often a lot of chasing, motivating, encouraging, repeating going back to the drawing board required. And this kind of direct challenge needs a little bit more meat on the bones to really get people's skin in the game, which I'll give to in a sec. But the reason people don't really add this meat to the bone is because they believe they don't have time, look, Tanya, I'm busy, I've got to be direct, because I don't have much time to explain stuff. I say I hear you. We're all busy. You've just forgotten that people's support and prioritize what they create, not what you create, they're going to have to spend on the whole, even more time repeating yourself checking in chasing up correcting mistakes. The point is, you got to get their skin in the game. And you have to get them to be clear on their vision or goal, their way of actually doing it, which will of course be influenced by how you want them to do it, which you did, when you taught them how to think when you taught them how to fish and step one, see what I did there, then you've got to get them thinking outside of the box about who they need to get onside. And then finally, when the deadline is, they can also get really specific about catch up dates with you that they book in. So you're not wondering what the heck's going on or having to chase them, you both get ultimate clarity. And it works wonders when working with your team, trying to get your kids to share in the house work, you know, getting a client or prospect to understand and commit. And when maybe you need to make an agreement with your spouse, I want me time but you also get you time, let's make an agreement. So by indirectly challenging people in this way, what you're doing is you're coaching them, you're coaching them through making a decision about what the specific outcome is that they want, how they're going to do it, who they need to help them. And when this needs to get done by that line of questioning. I know you can hear that, what we're what, how, who, when that's a line of questioning, what is the goal? How do you want to achieve it, who needs to be there who support you need, and when, finally, you've got to role model the way after you've taught people how to think or fish, and you've challenged them using indirect challenge and some direct challenge there as well. You've got to role model the way because people won't believe the message. If they don't believe the messenger, you've got to walk your talk. You can't be a hypocrite or have double standards. Sometimes, though, you're not going to be the best role model for the occasion. So what you can do in these situations is role model. Others showcase other people who have achieved that desired outcome. And if you're influencing internally, this could be showcasing and really celebrating an employee who got it right. If you're influencing externally, maybe you'll use a client case study or a testimonial really showcasing and celebrating where your client or prospect could be if they worked with you because you've already achieved that but
Jane Johnson and Co. You could also use this to positively influence your kids. This stuff that works at work works at home. Because we're dealing with people, you probably find that your kids are way more honest with you. But ideally here the role model is someone that is relatable or inspirational to the person that you're trying to influence. Your high performance challenge should you wish to accept it is to use an indirect challenge in one of your conversations today. ask clarifying questions about what the goal is, how you would like to see it work. Who do you need help from? And when they need this done by what how, who when you've got this my friend, remember to check out www dot Tanya liza.com forward slash influence guide for more influence and persuasion questions and answers. And then episode 16 to build your influence persona. Thank you so much for listening. Oh my goodness, you're incredible. I hope you enjoyed this episode. And if you'd like to support my high performance made simple podcast, then you'd really be flexing your influence muscles. Please share it with three awesome people. Maybe they're your friends, colleagues, your boss or your partner in life. To calculate us to me, please follow me on LinkedIn at Tanya Semeradova or Instagram and Tiktok at Tanya underscore high performance and I look forward to tuning in with you again soon. Ciao for now.